One of my favourite quotes, ever, in the history of all quotes, comes from Mother Theresa. Someone asked her, “What can I do to help change the world?” And her response was simple: “Go home and love your family.”
World ecology starts with womb ecology, world peace begins with the peace in the home.
In times of conflict with our children, when they are being demanding, or unreasonable, or exhaustingly clingy….when choosing love feels like the hardest (and least effective) choice …this is exactly when it is needed most. Empathy begets empathy. Love begets love. Patience, understanding, compassion…these are all the things we need to show our children, and give our children, if we have any hope of them giving it back to the world. Feelings are the language of the pre-verbal child, let’s teach our children to speak the language of love.
Love is not only a feeling. It transforms itself into a set of actions. The more loved we feel, the more loving we act. This is how the world will change.
When your baby is hungry, and you bring your baby to your chest to breast or bottle feed (even if they were just there an hour ago)…this is transformative love.
When your baby is calling out for you, and you come, and lovingly pick them up, murmuring soft reassurances…this is transformative love.
When your baby is frustrated, and you refrain yourself from shushing them…this is transformative love.
When your child hits or screams, and you react calmly, acknowledging their upset….this is transformative love.
When your child gets a say in decisions concerning them…this is transformative love.
When you choose care but relent on control…this is transformative love.
When your child wakes up crying, for the third time that night, and you go in to offer them yet another round of cuddles…this is transformative love.
Being understood is love.
This is parenting for social change.. Some days it may feel more like you are changing diapers than crushing glass ceilings, but remember – you are doing the world’s hardest, and most important work. You are fighting, day in and day out, for a more peaceful world. There is a revolution taking place, right there in your living room. Make no mistake, when you parent with this type of transformative love, you are birthing the peace this world so sorely needs.